I'll Tell You What I Want

Adolescence can be a scary thing. Being 14 years old, a freshman with raging hormones can cause us (particularily men) to do some wacky things. And sometimes we end up paying our penance 12 years later. I was at that tender age when I was faced for the first time in my life with the undaunting task of telling a young lady that I prefer the company of someone else to her company. Being at that age and a complete coward, I figured the best way to let her know was in the form of a note* (although some may argue it was really a dissertation). I spent a great deal of time carefully choosing the words to quote-unquote, let her down easy. I delivered the note and figured we'd all move on with our respective lives. Well sometime fate throws a cruel wrench or two in the situation. Wrench 1: I became pretty good friends with said girl. Wrech 2: Girl holds onto The Note. Well in the 12 years since the writing of The Note, it has grown to be somewhat of a legend in our circle of friends. It had been years since I last saw The Note and entered into a little wager with the friend -- if The Note could/could not be produced, one of us would have to entertain the crowd with a karaoke performance.

A few days ago I was informed that The Note had been found and that I better get ready. I arrived at the bar in anticipation of the event and began to consume the amount (a lot) of fermented & distilled beverages required for me to get through this ordeal. Friend was not there and there was still hope that 1) Friend would not show, 2) Note really was not found, and 3) Song was not available on Karaoke. Well shortly, Friend showed up and proceed to produce the note, pass it around to our group of friends. Everyone (including my new girlfriend) was able to read the elegant words I wrote and complimented me on my tact and choice of words. In order to fulfill my destiny, a Karaoke slip was filled out and submitted for me. My heart was pounding in dueling bouts of fear and anticipation of what I had to do. A couple of people had sang when I heard the fateful words of the DJ calling my name.

I strolled up to the microphone, saw the title "Wannabe by the Spice Girls" and downed my drink in order to numb my experience. As the song was cued up, a sense of calm came over me as all fear left my body. Instead of running from performing this song, I decided to run with the song. The whole 4-5 minutes seemed like a blur as I entered a trance like state. The words were lighting up and I was following along, word for word, beat by beat, right on cue. I changed voices as I adopted one Spice Girl persona for another. I was dancing and providing choreography. I had rhythm -- a rhythm that has been absent in all previous dancing, but I reached down into the depths of my genes (thank you Lusins) to garner it for all it was worth. The screams from the crowd were deafening. I kept going, doing karate kicks after each "Zigazig ah." I pushed forever upwards into a realm of performance art that may not be duplicated again in the history of karaoke at Corky's. As I ended I knew I had reached a new level of entertainment. The patrons of the bar had gone in looking for some drinks with some friends and enjoy a song or two. They left with the satisfaction of having seen one of the greatest karaoke performances of all time.

*Will be known as The Note for the rest of eternity