You're Hanging From the Balcony Upon the Riverboat Glass

Yesterday was Memorial Day so the OFOMOL and I decided to head to the Queen of American Watering Places, Cedar Point. We originally scheduled this trip for two weeks ago, then again this past friday, but both days were overrun with bad weather so we settled on the holiday yesterday. As it is quite a drive from the EL to the Point, we awoke at the ever-so-pleasant time of 6:30 to allow enough time for travelling. A quick stop at McDonald's for some coffee provided a prime chance for MOL to complain. Going through the drive-through, an order of two coffees and a OJ was ordered. We sat in line and got to the pay-window. We waited more and pulled up to the get-the-food window. I notice the minimum-paid worker just pouring the OJ then I see her making some coffee. She then mentions "I just had to make some more coffee. It is going to be a few minutes. Please pull up and I'll run it out to you." OK, this place is McDonalds. It is 7:30 A.M. and you are out of coffee? Didn't you foresee this coming? I mean, isn't it someone's sole job to make sure there is always hot coffee ready? C'mon folks! So then the coffee is a *bit* hot. By bit I mean, it was a solid (no joke) 45 minutes for the coffee to reach a temperature to drink.

Anyway, we took some crazy roundabout way to get there and didn't end up in the park until 11 or so. OFOMOL has never been here (well, duh), and the last time I was at CP was CWRU Senior Week 2002 (that was a fun time!). It's been a few years. The weather was hot and the sun was out. SPF 45 was applied liberally to prevent this poor redhead from looking like a lobster.

We started out with a ride on the ride that seems to get crappier every year, Disaster Transport. I liked this one a lot more when it was Avalanche Run. Then it was the first intense ride of the day, Wicked Twister. This is probably one of the underrated rides at the park. The linear induction motors provide quite the rush as you head straight up and down. We walked onto the Corkscrew for a nice ride going upside down a few times. After this we wound up close to Top Thrill Dragster. We stopped and watched in awe as the trains sped up and over the 420 ft hill. We checked the wait -- 1.5 hours max. After a bit of persuading, I convinced her to go on.

The line went fairly quickly, but the sun was bearing down on us. As we approached the platform, OFOMOL was getting a bit nervous about the extreme conditions we were about to undertake. The fact that the US Measurment System (yay English units!) means nothing to her, didn't help. I tried to do the conversions in my head and estimated the height at ~130 m and max speed of 200 km/h. The nervousness increased and repeat statements of "I'm not going to do this" were spoken. I did my best to reassure her -- the whole ride only lasts 17 seconds! We were next to ride when they had to release and re-do the lap bars 3 times on the riders prior to us. We got in and I told her I'd hold her hand and tried to distract her. She was not looking forward to this ride. Then it was our turn and the next thing now we were headed at 120 mph up the monster phallic tower and then back down. It was quite the rush and afterwards the OFOMOL mentioned how fun it was.

We took a break on Paddlewheel Excursions. This attraction is just an excuse for the workers to tell corny pun-filled jokes. The irony of it is that I remember hearing the same joke when I was 12 years old when I was there with my dad. No joke. Another walk-on ride at the Gemini. I notoriously lose on this ride, but OFOMOL chose the red train and we won! Yay! We pondered taking a break by hitting one of the water rides. Since White Water Landing has been removed for future expansion, our only choices were to get absolutely soaked by the ever-so-clean CP water. I talked OFOMOL out of it, and even though it was a hot day, we were much more comfortable not having to wear damp clothes the rest of the day. We hit Mean Streak and Wave Swinger in the back of the park.

Due to whatever reason, Millenium Force was not in operation yesterday so we rode the triumverate of Mantis (not the most fun on the legs/nether regions), Iron Dragon, and the Wildcat. Heading to the Wildcat, OFOMOL asks "isn't this a kid's ride?" I reassured her and as we rode it, she enjoyed it a bit. She enjoyed it so much in fact that we rode it a second time before we left for the night! OFOMOL was geting a bit overwhelmed. We took a break on Cedar Downs and the Turnpike Cars. She didn't realize she could actually steer the car! That was a fun time. The Blue Streak and Raptor were next before our dinner break.

It was around 6:30 or so and we were plum tired! I told her I wanted to ride Magnum (it's my favorite) before we left and we headed to that area of the park. You never have a bad time on that ride and she asked "why didn't we do this one earlier?" I recalled to her that we could have but she opted out of it. I rode the Witch's Wheel while she sat and we hit the Magnum again.

We headed to leave and she mentioned that I promised her to win something for her. You know those games. The workers make it look so easy. Then you dish over a couple bones to try. You get oh-so-close and convince yourself you can do it. The next thing you know, you've spent $20+ for your $5 mini Brian. I said a quick prayer as we headed to the games area. I chose an easy-looking bball game. $2 for a shot. Why not. I took two shots and made one -- got a mini basketball. Not necessarily what OFOMOL wants. So I forked over another Jefferson and nailed the shot. We upgraded to a pink stuffed dog -- her favorite color and animal! The day was complete and we headed out right around 8.

The whole experience for OFOMOL was pretty intense. The parks over in Europe are not like this and there are maybe 4-5 rides to go on. Not the 13 (+2 repeats) that we did yesterday. She was amazed at the sheer height, speed, ups, downs, and twists of all the rides. She used a new english word that she learned to explain it -- megalomania. That was very apropos. I did explain to her that Cedar Point is not the typical amusement park. My analogy (that she understood quite well) was this: You can run 100 marathons, but none of them are as good or quite like Boston; You can visit 100 amusement parks, but none of them can measure up or compare to Cedar Point.

Coming soon: a discussion on milk!