I Think I'm Turning Japanese

What is the over/under onto when Zidane becomes part of the vernacular? I.E. "You've just been Zidaned!" or "Watch it or I'll Zidane your ass!" Do you find it ironic that the best futbol player of the last 10 years is going to be known for his little headbutt more then his skills on the pitch?

Disclaimer: the following section contains adult content and reader discretion is advised (that's for you mom & dad)

As a native Clevelander, I have to weigh in on a little matter. For those who do not read Deadspin religiously, there is a certain fella by the name of Mike Cooper who has becomes somewhat of a legend there. Here is his story in a nutshell: he got caught pleasuring himself in the Berea library. Gonzo journalist Carl Monday confronted him and library about it. This resulted in a $500000 bond for Mr. Cooper. Cooper was sentenced on friday and guess who was there to report on the matters? Good 'ol Carl Monday. Of course neighter Coop nor his family wanted any part of it and hilarity ensues. Watch the videos...part of me wants to think it is some elborate sketch comedy show, but no, it is all too real. Really the fun from the whole episode(s) come from teh family's reaction.

Coop should have taken another tactic. Usually when confronted by folks such as Mr. Monday, the accused just want to hide. Usually this is justified as crimes such as cheating mechanics, money lauderers, and the like need to be taken care of. Mr. Cooper, while what he did was quite inappropriate, he wasn't hurting anyone (I'll let my readers complete any double entendres). He was doing something that we all (so they say) do, but he just chose a public library to do it. Anyway, Coop should have defended himself right there in front of Carl Monday. Monday wants that reaction, he wants to chase down people and embarass them. Cooper should have taken the offensive and said something like "Yes Carl, I masturbate. So what? I made the mistake in the place I chose to do it in, but I do it, and I'll continue to do it. Let me ask you something, when was the last time you jerked one off? Do you like to drive around in your newsvan, and then ask for some "alone time?" From the looks of it, you're not getting any at home. I peg you for a 3 times a day guy at least. Are you a righty or a lefty? Do you use oils or lotions?" And then if he really wanted to, he could just go on from there and make it extemely vulgar and start to involve his wife and kids. Afterall, Monday got Coop's parents on film. I think that if Coop had did this, Monday would have NO IDEA how to react. It would be especially great if Coop was a nice, conversational tone when speaking those lines. Coop could have even gotten a buddy to come running up with a videocamera and film Monday as he walks away. I'm sure Monday would be hella pissed. Then Coop could just yell "You've been served!"