I Ain't Got No Game I Just Hope and Wait

So I surfed upon Aaron Karo yesterday, and I just have to ask myself: how come I'm just finding out about this guy? I spent a good part of the afternoon yesterday reading all of his recent columns. He's kind of a mid-20s version of Seinfeld. Witty observations on everyday life that I certainly identify with. I'm thinking of purchasing his books. We're also members of the same fraternity, so I gotta support a fellow brother.

After reading his columns, I asked myself, "self, how come you don't write like this guy?" I mean, I've gone through a lot of the same things as him and could attempt to put a humorous spin on situations -- getting drunk, life changes that occur in the mid-20s, living with parents, break-ups, break-ins, hook-ups, engagements, weddings, growing older, etc.. Of course my sole focus would probably be my pining for a member of the opposite sex. And the outcome everytime would be something like this "our hero goes home alone and with no phone number." Cue self-deprecating music.

I joke about having no game, but really this is true. I have come to one conclusion, however. That is, any game I do have, is best used when alchohol (often in large amounts) is present. I'm pretty sure all but 2 of my hook-ups since college have been sans alcohol. Now, I'm no manwhore, that's for sure but this is telling me something. 1) Either I'm a complete sleaze and need to get girls drunk to make-out with me or 2) I'm such a pathetic representation of a human that only drunk girls will make-out with me. Unfortunately I hardly drink these days. Seriously, I'm pretty sure I've gone out about 10 times since I've been in grad school. I don't drink, so I rarely get drunk. Since my whole game is obviously based on drinking and I don't drink then I've got no game. The bottom line is then this: I need to go out and drink more so I can get drunk girls to make out with me in hopes that it leads to some sort of relationship. That, or I'll just live as a hermit for the rest of my life.